Weary Traveler

In emailing with Ashley earlier today, she was drawing encouragement from Romans and shared a passage with me, which landed me in Romans too. I like Romans chapter 8, right before 8:28 are the verses about the Holy Spirit making intercession for us in prayer. It's been a rough week for us, but I reminded her that we can't get sidetracked and lose focus. Our main focus should be to cultivate our relationship with God and live where others can see a difference in our lives. It's encouraging that even without doing anything but fellowshipping in our Bible study and trying to live a life in here that looks like Christ, another inmate here noticed we have something he wants, and no, its not just my tray of food. Haha.

This guy has been getting high and acting a fool since he got here. He tried to fight a friend of mine one morning during breakfast and I had to step in between them and break that up. He has stolen trays of my food while I'm working, leaving me short the only payment I get for working, which is an extra food tray. Then, he caused us all to go into lockdown the other day for acting out. I had already been dealing with bitterness towards him since he tried to fight my friend and it was all just adding to a really bad attitude toward this guy. I have struggled with God telling me to pray for my enemies but not wanting to. So I decided to do it anyway and I started praying for him. Leaning on the fact that the Holy Spirit will make intercession for my prayers when I don't know how to pray or even just flat out don't want to pray for him. All I knew was this guy needs off the dope.

Throughout the Bible, action is the first step in fulfilling what God has planned. Even when we don't know how to act or why the action has to take place, only that God gave the instruction. So, in obeying God's instruction to pray for him even when I didn't want to, I felt the Holy Spirit would take that action and intercede for me because He tells us to pray for our enemies.

After weeks of frustration and prayer for this man, he came to bible study today and broke down crying. He told us that last night he wrapped a sheet around his neck, tied it up and was going to hang himself. If he had gone through with it, that would have made over 6 or 7 suicides that I know of, since I got here in May. He said in that moment, he thought about us in Bible study. He thought about things he's talked to us about, how we don't get high or fight and that we live completely different in here and he wants that. He wants to clean up, get sober and re-dedicate his life to Christ. Him showing up to our Bible Study, sharing what happened the night before, feeling alone and seeking help was a huge answer to prayer. In his lowest moment, when he felt like he didn't have anything else to live for, God pricked his heart and if that's not the clearest example of Christ's intercession on our behalf, I don't know what is.

It was a gut check for me that I didn't show him more Christ like behavior after he had tried to fight my friend and I on more than one occasion. He was constantly so high he couldn't walk up the stairs straight and he was stealing my food. But I feel like I should have done a better job turning all that over to God. The best I knew to do was pray for him. After sharing his struggle with us, we assured him we all struggle differently and none of us have it all figured out. But, thats the point of the group. It is to help bear one another's burdens, share our struggles, walk each other through our problems and study what God's word has to say about them. I assumed he was always so high that our Bible study group would have been the last thing he noticed.

But he was watching.

Even if we don't do anything else, living differently than everyone else around us and trying our best to follow Christ's example is more powerful than we think. Our daily example is powerful. I'm thankful for the group of guys I get to fellowship with. Just our daily meeting in here, reigning in anger, and staying sober was the difference between someone taking their life and holding out to join Bible study the next morning.

--Cody

Hey everyone, it's Ashley!

I just wanted to expand some on this email from Cody and how good God is to us. Being in this incredibly difficult season of hurt and waiting, we don't often get to see God's reasons for what is happening and that can be so challenging for our walk with Christ. After a really hard week of questioning God's plan, why this is taking so long and how He can allow the suffering to continue, we were just both completely exhausted from it all.

Then, God gave us this. And don't misunderstand us as implying that God couldn't have moved on this man's heart without Cody's prayers or without this group of guys. Because He absolutely could have. He is God and at the end of the day, doesn't NEED our help being God. But, He calls us to be faithful. He calls us to be obedient. He calls us to pray for others. He tells us we will suffer and He promises us good will come from it.

The thing is, He doesn't HAVE to show us how He is moving in our suffering. Some people go through things and never learn what the reason for the pain was. So, when He does give us the gift of showing us glimpses of how He is working in the waiting and suffering, it does wonders for our tired spirits and we are grateful for this blessing. It gives us strength to continue forward in our walk, with our heads held high and joy in our spirit.

I hope it also encourages those who have prayed so diligently for us during this time. LOOK WHAT GOD IS DOING. And this is just what He has made known to us. Don't stop praying. God is moving, even when we can't see it. Thank you all so much!

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

Love, Ashley